my last day

I cant believe it. It's my last day in India. Not forever of course, but for a while anyway. I plan to come back to see the Taj Mahal, I was hoping to visit this time around, but I didn't have the time or the patience to attempt the trip on my own. I'll try to learn hindi before I come here again. There are so many things that I didnt capture in my blog entries that are randomly floating around in my thoughts...

Things that I will miss about being in India:

• my roommates. three of the nicest and sweetest girls ever. i wish i could stay for the month of October with them so we could all spend more time together.
• the support of the AVSAR staff. they were incredible and went well beyond the call of duty. I hope that some of my friends and family have the opportunity to go to India just like i did.
• the random daily happenings: my walk through the illegal vegetable market with people screaming out to us to buy stuff, the uncle under the bridge who sells sandals and had befriended all of the AVSAR staff and volunteers, ordering food from the store downstairs and sitting lazily in the apt waiting for it to be ordered, making chai in the morning, bargaining for everything, the train rides, watching men hold hands (its a friendly thing to do here), seeing the local veggie vendors everyday who actually sleep on their carts at night (I didnt know that until I went out to a phone booth with Sherry)....
• and so much more but im out of time...

last dinner with the roomies (aloo chat of course!) and im out! ill finish this post once i get home on saturday night. goodbye india. hello america.

mixed emotions

Everything seems to be taken care of at this point. I've cancelled my cards, ordered new ones, changed my flight to Indiana (which cost me $500!), figured out what ID I can use, had my dad call my new apt complex to tell them that this months rent payment would be rejected since I cancelled my credit card, and have finally reached a state of peace. I think.

The AVSAR assistant program director and I took a ride on the train to Marine Drive to take care of some errands. On the train ride there, two women who looked like men dressed up as women hopped onto the train. The APD automatically got up and walked towards the open door, she said that these men (who really were dressed up as woman) were extremely aggresive about asking for money. They are officially called hijras - men who act and dress like women - some of which have gotten themselves castrated. The two that I saw were both wearing saris, jewelry and had shoulder length hair. The went around the train grabbing peoples arms and touching their heads, basically they harrassed whoever they saw. I was glad that our stop was next, plus the APD got grabbed instead of me so I was thankful for that. I jumped off of the train today, I wasnt so slick because I stumbled for a few seconds afterwards. It was fun though! The APD gave me some pointers on how-to for next time.

Speaking of train rides. Yesterday there were two little girls on the train with tamborines singing beautifuly. Usually we try not to give money to anyone because people end up chasing us for more, but Jo and I couldnt help ourselves so we gave the two little girls some money. Some other people around us were giving too, something that I haven't seen during my time here, so that made us feel like it was okay as well. One more thing about the trains - on any ride, there are a slew of vendors that come through selling veggies, fish, bracelets, hairbands, nuts, you name it. You can basically ride the train on your way home and do all of your shopping!

I had my exit interview with AVSAR today, it was pretty intense. They asked a ton of questions but I'm glad because it helped me wrap up my experience here and really think about what I have learned over the past few weeks.

I cant believe that I am leaving tomorrow night. The month has flown by! For those of you who are in NJ, I'll be home for an extra 1.5 days. Thats the good news out of all of this, I get to spend some time with family and friends before I venture out to the midwest for an extended period of time. I'm not planning on going back to NJ until December (I have a work event then) so I'll be away from home for the longest period of time in my life. Two months, which isnt that long, so I'm sure I'll be ok! Plus, theres so much to do in the midwest, right? Ha ha. I'll figure it out. Ann Arbor, Chicago, resting, fixing my apartment and work will keep me busy for a while.

bollywood anyone?...a day with a crazy twist...

After spending the past few days trying to get my NGO's attention, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make the most of my last couple of days here. So, today I went over to South Bombay to Sherry's NGO Akansha. She spends the mornings and afternoons at schools where she does check-ups on the children. Jo and I decided to go to the afternoon session so that Jo could go to work for at least half of the day. We planned to meet Sherry for lunch at McDonalds and ended up getting there a little earlier than expected - so we went shopping! The area that we were in is full of tourists, actually its almost all tourists, so everything is marked up about 600%. I asked one of the shopkeepers how much a pillow cover was and he said 150 rupees each. Then he said he'd cut me a deal - 2 for 225. I had Sherry buy them for me later at 2 for 175 rupees. We did a bit of shopping and I left Jo for a bit to go look at some earrings. When I came back, she was chatting it up with an indian woman who was telling her about a Bollywood movie that was being filmed that evening and asked if she would be interested in being an extra. We had heard about this sort of thing before so we weren't that phased by the offer - one of Miriam's friends was an extra in a Amitabh and Abhishek Bachan movie (they are father and son, the father is one of the best known actors in Indian film history). The woman agreed to let me tag along as well, and of course Miriam without question since they were filming a scene in 'Amsterdam.' We agreed to meet the woman at 630 pm and the whole ordeal would end at 3 am.

After lunch, we headed over to Sherry's work and watched as she examined child after child. They were all so cute and smart too! The children are all brought over from the slum communities for school and the NGO (that Sherry works for) does free health check-ups for them. After a few hours, Jo and I took a bus back to the area where we supposed to meet the woman for the Bollywood movie. We indulged in some cafe mochas and sweets. While waiting for Miriam, we received a call from AVSAR's program director, we excitedly told her about the Bollywood extravaganza and she asked a few questions. We really didnt have much info at all so we called the woman and she was a bit shady. After standing on the corner of the street for thrity minutes, we all decided that it was better to be safe than sorry - we decided not to go. So there ends my short-lived dream of being in a Bollywood movie. Maybe next time that I'm in India!

Dinner on Marine Drive at an awesome pizza place. Tonight was the first time I had pineapple on my pizza, it was delicious! I am always excited to have american food whenever I can get my hands on it. I needed to pick up the sari and other indian outfit that I bought from my friends mom house. The tailor had dropped off the finished pieces there after making my blouses for me. We took a quick cab ride over since we were close by and that was when the night took a turn for the worse for me...I reached into my purse to pay Auntie for the clothes when I realized that I didnt have my wallet. Where was it? I dumped out my purse in the middle of our attempt not to have chai at their place because it was already 930 pm and we all wanted to head home. I completely freaked out my friends parents because I got up and announced that we had to head back to the restaurant immediately (it was the last place that I remember seeing my wallet). We rushed out, and I made my roomies walk over to the bridge where we were dropped off to see if it was on the ground. No luck. Cabbed it back to Marine Drive. In the meantime, I'm beginning to mentally freak out - my license, my credit card, ATM card, my insurance card, some receipts, some money and five peoples business cards are in my wallet. I was cursing at myself for walking around India with my NJ drivers license, what had I been thinking? My roomies spent the cab ride trying to comfort me but I dont think I was paying much attention. I had already started thinking about how I was going to manage to get a new license when I was only going to be in NJ for 15 hours. I lost my wallet with only two days left in India? I was trying not to think bad thoughts though I wasnt having much luck. The restaurant didnt have my wallet. Sherry left her number because I was too much in shock to do it myself. We walked down the street towards the train station and decided to stop to do one more thorough check of my bag. Again, no luck. I called my dad and left a message on his cell phone, my voice was cracking the whole time. I spent the next two hours trying to hold it together and think of everything that I needed to do. My roommates are awesome. I was telling them how I think we've all gone through such a range of emotions together. These people might know me a little better than some of my friends at home just because of the closeness that we've developed through all of the ups and downs of the past few weeks. So they handed me some money, I got the number for my credit card company, and I sat in a STD booth for about 35 minutes. I cancelled my cards and talked to my dad. The internet was down at our apartment so I couldnt so anything at that point. I had my dad write some emails for me and help me to assess the situation. How am I going to get a new NJ license? I decided to ask my manager (who I havent met yet) to take yet another day off. So embarassing. So now, I'm planning to go to Indiana on Monday night after getting my license during the day. The only issue is that I might not have enough ID to pull this off. I can pass the 6 point test because I have my license, a bank statement, and my high school diploma but most of my important documentation is currently sitting in packed boxes in my living room in Indiana. I have no proof of social security. I'm going to have to figure something out.

I'm trying hard to let go of those "why me?" thoughts. It's just my license. I can take care of it. Unfortunately, I need to go to the police station tomorrow to report it lost and get a police report for home. I'm not looking forward to that. The police station here is infamous for bad behavior, and I dont speak the language.

mehndi saves the day

Big meeting today with the director of Niramaya right? Wrong. Well yes in that it was scheduled. But no in that it didnt happen. I waited for an hour before I was told that she called to say that she was busy in an important something or the other and couldnt meet. Maybe in the afternoon? I told them that I had to leave because I had made plans with Miriam to visit her NGO in Bandra East. Also, I made an appointment to get mehndi done since there is a beautician school there. I'm trying really hard to keep a positive attitude though in all honesty (and justifiable so - or so my roomies say) I'm quite frustrated. I feel like I could have done a lot more here but I came here prepared with the understanding that things go a lot slower here than back home (and in corporate america). But in all fairness to the experience, I got to see and understand everything that I wanted to. I wouldnt take this opportunity back for a second. If anything, I've learned more about an NGO and its operations just by watching and listening to the things that go on in the office on a daily basis. I've gotten to experience a meeting with sponsors for a grant, developed a concept of different social issues in third world countries, visited asias largest slum (Dharavi) + two others + a baldwadi(preschool) + the dumping grounds + sweatshops + street boys mela + childrens school + my roomies NGOs, and of course, I've been all over Mumbai. It's been quite a month.

While trying to wipe the mean look off of my face, I took the train over to Bandra East, which is much grungier than Bandra West, and thats noticeable at a moments glance. There are slums right outside of the train station exit. I wasnt sure where I was going and neither were the autorickshaw walas. After asking three different people, one guy just decided to take me in the general direction of Kherwadi (Miriam's assigned NGO). He dropped me off in front of some random place called "The National Center of Cleanliness in India." What the heck is that? Anyway, I asked the guard in front and he directed me down the street to Kherwadi. The streets near Kherwadi are exactly what I pictured India to be like, or at least what I pictured my work scene to be like. There are three pink buildings, a school (computer + baldwadi + beautician), an auditorium, and a medical clinic/office. After my last two days, I was wishing that I had gotten assigned to this NGO instead because it was perfectly in sync with my expectations (even though I tried really hard not to have any but my mind had to visualize something...) of where I would be working in Mumbai.

I spent the afternoon with ladies from the area and sat while they did mehndi on my hands(for two + hours). They did full-fledged wedding mehndi on me, my hands are covered. It was so interesting to listen to the stories of their lives. these women spend the mornings cooking and cleaning at home, then they come to the school for three hours to practice their skills on one another, then they go home. It's a giant social event for all of them, a relief from their daily obligations and they definitely make the most of it. They were all so joyful, it was so nice to see. One woman out of the twenty or so spoke Bengali (my native tongue) and another spoke English so I was able to converse with everyone. The woman who was working on my right hand was really beautiful and I was super shocked when one of the ladies told me that she has three kids - 8, 5, and 3. It turns out that she got married when she was 16 because the man that married her sister had a brother who wanted to marry her. The brothers bonded together and decided that either they were both going to get married to each of the sister or neither of them would. So, her parents married off both of their daughters! This woman - her name is Urmila - lives with her three kids and randomly visiting mother-in-law (who she doesnt like!) while her husband is working in Spain as a contractor. He's been there for three years and she doesn't know when he's coming back. I asked her why she doesnt go there as well and she said that he lives at someone elses house and theres no place her to stay. I kept telling her that she could make a lot of money doing mehndi or henna tattoos on people. I asked the AVSAR assistant program director about it and she said that 'agents' come and recruit these slum dwellers and take them to European countries. Sometimes they pay then and sometimes they dont. I cant imagine getting up and leaving to go to an unknown country with some random stranger who is promising you a job. Can you? Maybe that's because we all live in a place where we can earn a decent living and we dont think about another world where we could do better - we're already there. I give my parents (and all of the other immigrants) so much credit for leaving everything that they knowto come to a foreign land where they have all built up their lives so beautifully. I dont know if I could have ever done that for myself, its good that I wont ever have to find out. I'm lucky. Their struggle has led to a life full of luxuries and opportunities for me for which I will forever grateful.

This was a day that I will hold in my memories forever. Afternoons like this make me so happy that I came to India.

just another manic monday

I was really excited to go to work today because I had a meeting set up with two of the doctors to go over the work that I had done over the past few weeks. I walked into the office to find a group of six people discussing Niramaya. I walked over to the room (which i've unofficially labeled the "loser" room because no one uses it except me) and sat there for three hours until one of the doctors that I was supposed to meet with came over. He was heading out for the day! He didnt acknowledge my meeting whatsoever and told me to head home to "take rest" because while waiting I started having some sort of allergic reaction which made my eyes bloodshot. I got the picture, he didnt have time (or interest). I met the director of NHF and she said that she'll meet with me tomorrow. Let's hope that it happens. I came home and took a nap. Its weird because I've never been a napper, but in the past month, I've napped almost 4 times a week. Who am I? Also, it seems that almost everyday I wake up with some sort of problem - back pains, neck pains, allergies, fever, headache..whatever. Sometimes I feel like I'm allergic to India. = ) In truth, it just takes some time to get settled in here. I think that two months is a more appropriate time frame to come here for rather than just one month.

I vented at our reflection session and everyone was really supportive. The people at AVSAR told me that I could figure out what I wanted to do with my last few days and if I want to spend some time at another NGO, I could definitely do that too. I have decided to see how tomorrow goes. I only have four days left after all, how much could I do at a new NGO? I'm glad and relieved that its up to me, AVSAR really has been a tremendous support during my time here. If anyone reading this wants to volunteer overseas, then I urge you look into AVSAR as a means of fulfulling that wish. www.avsarindia.org All the logistics are taken care of and the people here are care about YOU as an individual and want you to have the best experience possible. What more could you ask for in a foreign country? And of course, feel free me to ask me about my experience if this blog wasnt indication enough of how much I've learned.

to give or not to give

My roommates decided that I could decide what we would do today because it was my last weekend day here. As a group, we decided to go to the National Gallery of Modern Art in Mumbai. Our day had a later start than we wanted because the cleaning lady came late and took her time today. Yes we have a cleaning lady, for those of you who are shocked. Everyone does. I have barely done any dishes since I've been here, and definitely have not done any laundry or dusting. I tend not to let her wash the delicate stuff because she's beats the living daylights out of all of our clothes, I swear that all of my clothes have lost their elasticity. We decided to make the most of the morning and made a giant breakfast of pancakes and eggs. Sherry had been looking for maple syrup for almost a month, and we finally found some at Phoenix Mills the night before. So pancakes and syrup were well overdue. Eventually, we headed out and ended up having a surprise visitor for the day: the sun. I havent seen sunshine in almost 3 weeks. Perfect day to be outside.

Another train station first - jumping onto a moving train. I was the last one left on the platform and the train started to move before I got on so I had no choice but to hop on at the last minute. It was quite thrilling. Now all that I have left to do is to jump off of a moving train. I probably wont risk that considering my ankle isnt fully healed. We walked over to the museum from the VT train station and for the first time acted like full-fledged tourists. People stare at us anyway so we figured why not take pictures and attract more attention! Up until today, I barely had any pictures of the city, I'm good to go now. In attempt to not suffer from dehydration, we stopped to buy some water and snacks. Sherry decided to be nice and buy a street girl some cookies. Usually she yells at us for giving locals money because of the whole underground beggar structure. Buying food for someone is somewhat different because then you can actually help the person without supporting the twisted network. So we go along our merry way and then the girl starts yelling out to us and calling for her brother. Next thing we know, we have a man (with no legs) on a scooter rolling after us while we're trying to cross the street. It's a tough situation because once you give something to one person, they expect to get more. They let everyone on the streets around them know that we're easy targets, word spreads like fire. I dont know what the brother expected but we ignored him. Dont think that we didnt feel mean and cruel doing that, we totally did.

The museum was closed for preparations for a new exhibition. We walked over to the Gateway of India and the Taj Hotel to take some pictures. Talk about being mobbed. Tourists galore and somehow all of the vendors know exactly what to say to us in english. There were men walking around selling these ridiculously large balloons; i dont know what purpose they could possibly serve. I took a picture so keep an eye out for giant yellow balloon in my pictures when I send them out. Next we walked over to Churchgate (another train station) through a field of boys playing cricket. The playing fields here are huge, probably equal to two or three football fields. Back to Phoenix Mills for some pampering at the salon. I think we spent 2 hours in there getting pedicures and first experience with waxing (my arms). All I have to say is - never again. It was so painful, I dont know how these girls do it on a regular basis, supposedly it hurts less each time. No thanks. Miriam and I were done earlier than the others so we scoped out the scene for dinner. We picked a restaurant called Monza. The rest of the girls joined us and we spent 3 hours eating tons of delicious food. It was an amazing experience. The meal would have easily cost us $100 at home, but we left with a damage of only $40 per person. It was the perfect meal. Best food in India so far.